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Q: I have a question/problem for you my penis has a dark ring around it. What is it? Should I see a doctor?
A: This is probably the normal circumcision scar which all circumcised men will have. It is the dividing line between the end of the (removed) foreskin skin and the rest of the penis skin. Depending on how much foreskin was removed during your circumcision, the ring may be higher or lower up the penis shaft. See the anatomy page of The-Penis.com for more information.
Q: Sometimes, my scrotum gets expanded lengthwise and becomes loose. One testicle is lower than the other. Is this normal? The scrotum becomes soft. Has anyone ever come to you with this problem? What can I do to stop it?
A: Both these things are completely normal. The scrotum expands and becomes loose when it is hotter than is comfortable for the testicles (they need a lower temperature than the rest of the body, which is why they hang outside in the first place). Obviously, if they get too cold, the scrotum tightens up against the body. One testicle is nearly always bigger and lower than the other.
Q: At what age does a penis stop growing ?
A: By 17, but often much sooner. It will depend on how soon puberty starts, and how rapidly it progresses, although this will be different for everyone. You can get information on the average size of an erect penis with age on the size page of this website.
Q: The following is how I masturbate: I lay flat on my back in my bed and I take my right hand and with my thumb and forefinger (sometimes middle finger) I twist my penis. My left hand goes under my sac. At the same time I press my sac with some pressure and I twist the head of my penis. Eventually I ejaculate. Is this safe? I am also currently having problems. It seems that whenever I move whether it be sitting down or laying down this sexual feeling generates out of nowhere. It happens by itself. It's the same kind of feeling I get when I'm about to ejaculate but to a lesser degree. There's no pain involved. Perhaps by masturbating the wrong way I somehow hurt my internal organs. I'm hoping you could shed some light on this as I am desperately looking for answers. Thank you.
A: That way of masturbating does not sound like a good idea. It sounds like there might be a risk of damaging your penis, and that would be a nightmare for you for ever! As to the other question - well, I think that you might just be experiencing the normal sexual arousal that goes with the teenage years. When your hormone levels are so high, you are bound to feel sexually excited and stimulated a lot of the time, often for no apparent reason. The other possibility is that you might be stimulating your prostate gland in some way - it is a gland deeply involved with sexual feelings and orgasm. If I were you, I would have a word with my doctor just to check that everything is OK.
Q: The past few weeks I have been seeing a girl who seems to get me aroused every time I see her. We have played around in bed together and have rolled around the sheets together, me with a hard on and she extremely turned on. Because she is not quite ready to go all the way, I have been finding myself getting super hard erections then cooling off all night long. My testicles seem to be bearing the brunt of this erection then non-ejaculation, and I am in pain most of the next day. What is going on? I am 20 years old and very healthy. Should I be concerned? Is this what some people term "blue balls"?
A: Yes, that is indeed what people call blue balls. I think the answer to your problem is either to ask her to masturbate you to orgasm, or do it yourself (ask her if she minds, first, though), and you could also just explain that she turns you on so much - she will be flattered by that, believe me - that you are left uncomfortable if you don't get off. Alternatively, go discreetly to the bathroom and relieve yourself- it shouldn't take long if you are so turned on. But in any event, an orgasm is clearly what you need. By the way, could you ask her if she would like to get some pleasure as well? Suggestions for you to put to her might include that she could in herself off with her hands while you hold her, curled up alongside her (she might like that) or that you bring her off - "heavy petting" - i.e. fondling her to orgasm (you could tell her it would make YOU very happy to do this for HER). Or you could have a session of frottage: have her lie on her back with you on top of her, supporting your weight so she isn't squashed, and kiss her - you can even do this fully clothed, although you might have a laundry bill afterwards! - as things hot up, you may find that you both begin to naturally rub your penis and vulva together, and perhaps simulate the movements of sexual intercourse. If she responds, you can go on till she comes, and you will probably follow soon after. Any of these might be a very nice substitute for full blown intercourse if she isn't ready for it.
Q: Hi, I am a 21 year old male, and I have a problem that has been bugging me for about two years now. Well, here goes. Throughout the day, I sometimes feel a burning sensation in my urethra, and there is sometimes some clear fluid there. I also have a slight burning sensation when I urinate. Sometimes after a bowel movement I get these fierce spasms in my lower back and rectum that last for about 3 minutes. Worst of all though is that during ejaculation, I feel that slight burning as well as a weird pressure in my groin. Afterwards I get what feels like a muscle ache all through my groin (buttocks, testes, lower abdomen, penis). I have no idea what is causing this. I recently was tested for a urinary tract/bladder infection, but there is none. I am very active, so is this related to sports? I really need your advice.
A: I wonder if you have prostatitis. Try www.prostatitis.org and see if the symptoms sound familiar.
Q: I'm 19 years old and I am a virgin. I have a problem with erections. I get erections very easily and sometimes for no reason. When I'm with a girl and say we kiss, I get an erection. Is this normal, or is there something I can do to keep it down until I need it up?
A: I was not surprised to read this...I get so many emails from horny teenagers who just wish they could stop their spontaneous erections which pop up all over the place all the time! However, what you describe is so normal as to be completely unremarkable. You have more testosterone now than you ever will have again, and in 20 or 30 years you may look back enviously on those spontaneous erections as proof of your virility and masculinity. In short, therefore, you have to just accept that this is your body's natural response to sexual stimulation!
Of course many boys are embarrassed about getting hard when they are not in a sexual situation because of what their girlfriends might think. This is a difficult one. I guess many teenage girls would be surprised to learn that a boy gets erections all the time, even from something as simple as hugging or dancing close. And it can be embarrassing. On the other hand, if you're in a relationship, then it can be quite flattering for the girl to know that you find her so sexy and exciting. But spontaneous erections are one of the perennial difficulties of being a teenage boy!
Q: Hi, I am 18 and my penis has spots on... they have been there for about 4 years now but I am too shy to go to the doctor, so what can I do and what are they?
A: Very likely they are Fordyce spots, little white spots that form on the skin of the penis or on a woman's labia. You can read more about them here Penis Myths . But if you are in any doubt about the health of your penis, especially if you have had sex with a partner whose history you are unsure of, you should see a doctor as soon as possible.
Q: My penis used to stick straight up in the air against my body. My girlfriend pulled very hard on it downwards and I felt something tear or rip. Now when erect it's not as strong or upright or hard. Could that have done something harmful?
A: Get rid of a girlfriend who treats your penis with such disrespect (unless it was an accident, but even if it was she should have more respect, so you might want to think about that - I assume you would not treat her vagina so roughly?) The "accident" with your girlfriend you describe may have affected the ligament that attaches your penis to your body - if so, this will heal in time. You might want to get it checked by a doctor, just to be sure there is no long term damage.
Q: I'm 18, one girl has successfully made me ejaculate numerous times (she was my long term girlfriend). I'm considered attractive by some of the hottest girls in my school, and my penis is average at about 5 and a half inches erect. In my senior year, one of these hot girls whom I didn't know that well wanted to get it on with me. But when I ended up getting with her and initiating foreplay, I couldn't get aroused. I got her naked and performed oral sex on her. When it was time for her to return the favor, my penis was not erect at all. It was embarrassing and I don't know how to explain it to her or how to react. What is wrong with me? I thought these kind of girls only existed in my dreams. Any diagnosis or suggestions are appreciated.
A: You don't surprise me at all. Everyone thinks a man is a sex machine, but they forget he wants emotional connection as well. Stick to girls for whom you feel something in the head, not just in your body! That way you'll be fine. You can't change the kind of guy you are - and you are one who wants love or affection, not rampant sex. Keep that for your fantasy! And, by the way, there isn't anything wrong with you, except you made a mistake, and learnt something from it!
Q: I have a question that's a little embarrassing to ask. I am sixteen years old and in good health. I always have an erection in the morning and I've had wet dreams before. However, when I try to masturbate, nothing happens. I've already turned down relationships because I'm worried that when the time comes I won't be able to perform. I am starting to wonder whether it is my body or if it's psychological. Whenever I try I pretty much already know nothing will happen.
A: I have had this question from young and old men alike, but I think the cause of the problem is different in young and old! For you, I suspect the answer is simple: that you aren't masturbating hard enough or long enough to cause an orgasm (and yes, there may be a bit of fear holding you back as well). The fact that you have had wet dreams and morning erections means there is nothing wrong with your system. One guy told me he remembered being told how to masturbate by a guy in class at school. He tried what was suggested, then lost interest as nothing happened....and it was a long time before he tried again! So, be respectful and gentle with your penis, but try masturbating for longer, and perhaps with a bit more friction. You will find that you orgasm much more easily if you are excited before you even touch your penis. Then just go at it gently. Above all, don't worry.
In a nutshell, I would say your problem is that you need turning on - nothing to worry about, but obviously difficult if you're frightened of getting into a relationship because you think you won't perform (when getting into a relationship would probably be just what you need to turn you on). Don't forget women need a lot more sexual stimulation than men, so a girl would probably find your slow pace of sexual arousal a comforting, familiar and reassuring thing. You know, it could even be an advantage! If you're into guys, well, then you would need to explain your slower pace of sexual arousal, but it still shouldn't be a problem if your partner cares about you rather than just getting off with you. Anyways, read Jackinworld. I think you'll find the answers you need there, good luck.
Q: I will have an erection for hours before a date but once I am alone with my date I can't seem to get an erection or maintain an erection.
A: Performance anxiety can affect a man in many ways, and this, sadly, is one of them. The best course is to put thoughts of sex aside, and do some cuddling and kissing while you build up your relationship, rather than going for sex so early on in a relationship. Sex is much better between two people who love or respect each other, so you may find the whole process of dating becomes much more rewarding if you hold back until you are sure that you really want to go to bed with someone.
Q: I'm 18 and faced with having sex for the first time with my girlfriend. I have no idea what to do! HELP!
A: Well, first of all don't panic. When you are aroused you will find it all comes more naturally than you would ever have imagined. (I mean the physical side of it.) The key, though, is to communicate with your girl. Tell her it's your first time - talk about it. Is it her first time too? If not, then you are lucky, because she can help you (e.g. you could say "I'm not quite sure how it works, but we could have fun finding out if you show me what to do!") There's no point pretending you are an experienced lover if you aren't! However, assuming that you are both first timers, then you must talk about it, and there is some responsibility on you to look after her.
So, to get you started, here is a good web address to read, preferably together. But although aimed at women, you can get a lot from it as well. Scarleteen. When you get intimate, I think that it is so helpful to feel comfortable together. An hour or two spent on the sofa, cuddling and kissing sensitively, with a bit of non-sexual caressing and fondling, in other words gently touching each other in a loving way (a gentle back massage is very popular!), will help to release your inhibitions and reduce embarrassment about getting closer sexually. During this period of gentle affection, maybe you could gently caress her more intimate areas - through her clothing - but as you work towards greater intimacy be sure to respect any signs she gives that she is uncomfortable with what you are doing AND STOP if she is. Of course you will both become aroused during this sort of contact, and that may give you an opportunity to move things forward.
I say "may" because even though she may be aroused, sex for women has different implications than it does for men, and arousal alone may not be enough for a woman to want intercourse - she must feel safe and secure as well. You could tell her you find it so exciting being with a beautiful woman that you would like more intimate contact, but that you will respect what she wants. Her response, both verbally and physically, will show you if she wants more intimate contact. If she does, you don't have to find your way alone! Simply ask her what she would like you to do - but do it gently and sensitively, in a loving way. Make sure she feels respected at all times, because what she is potentially giving you is the most precious thing she has: think about the significance of intercourse for a woman - it is literally an acceptance of you into her body - a gift not to be taken lightly by the man. On the first time, there is often a lot of pressure to go the whole way, but I think it is much better to work towards full sexual intercourse through mutual masturbation ("heavy petting" - what a glorious, old fashioned term!). She can bring you off by hand, or even by mouth, although if she is willing but shy, you may have to ask her (think about how you would ask her in a way that is respectful of her).
You can give her pleasure by hand or mouth - giving oral sex to a woman is a very, very exciting experience for most men, because the scent and taste of such close sexual contact with a woman are very arousing indeed. I suggest you do some research beforehand to find out a bit about female anatomy and what women think about sex. A bit of research beforehand will make you feel much more confident when you get down to it (err, no pun intended!). Now, if you can restrain yourself, and concentrate instead on her pleasure, you may find she is more confident and responsive, and that you feel more in control and less pressured to perform (which will be good because such pressure to perform may make you orgasm too quickly - or, less commonly, have difficulty achieving orgasm at all).
Assuming you are naked and intimate, you could concentrate on her pleasure by giving her an erotic massage. By now, you should be her hero, and she will be thinking of you as a great guy (I hope), but of course there is still the hurdle of the first intercourse to get over. You need to be naked, intimate, and aroused. Do not try penile penetration until she is ready - ask her to tell you when she would like you to enter her. There is no shame in this - make it clear it is your first time, and that you would like to be sensitive to her feelings. If she is expecting you to know everything, and do all the work, and judge when she is ready to for penetration, then she is expecting too much.
Read the links on this page of The Penis Website to give you more information about all of this. When you get ready to enter her, ask her to guide you (i.e. your penis) into her vagina. The missionary position is easiest for the first time. You will find that moving your hips to produce the motion of your penis in and out of her vagina is quite instinctive and natural, and it will be highly enjoyable and most likely so exciting and arousing that you may well come straight away - this is quite normal, and not something to worry about - after all, you will get better as you get more experience. I think it is very unlikely she is going to have an orgasm through intercourse the first time you try, however long YOU last before you ejaculate, so it is crucial that you do not leave her unsatisfied (i.e. without her having had an orgasm): so either wait until you are erect again, giving her gentle touch and caresses all the while, or if you prefer, bring her off by hand - ask her how she likes to be touched if necessary. Again, oral sex (if she is happy with the idea) is a good way to help a woman have an orgasm, and most women really feel great when a man does it to them. And, if you can, stay with her through the night and cuddle her so she feels special; in any case, stay with her after you've made love.
And don't forget to USE A CONDOM IF SHE ISN'T ON THE PILL OR IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF EACH OTHER'S SEXUAL HISTORY. All in all, the happiness of the experience is mostly down to you being relaxed and happy with each other. Most likely the first time will be only moderately successful, but you need to expect that - don't look for the earth to move - that will come later! What is most important is that you like being together and feel happy about the experience.
My final word is one of caution - don't go the whole way unless both of you really want to. Above all, don't do it because you feel pressured to do it. Enjoy yourself, and enjoy the sense of pride in your masculinity that will inevitably follow your first time. You will see how good it is to be a man !
Q: I am 18. I'm sure you receive lots of emails that are similar, but I think this is a little different. My problem is is that I have a lot of gay tendencies, but I don't want to be gay. I have always wanted a family: a wife and children. I started masturbating at 11. A friend showed me. We eventually started masturbating each other and giving blowjobs. I was giving more than receiving. My older brother is gay and I found one of his magazines when I was 12 or 13. I really liked the pictures of the men. A year later, my friend, whom I never did anything with, gave me some pictures of women from Penthouse. I really liked these, too. I used them for about a year, until my dad found them. Now, with the internet, I look at a lot of stuff. I look at guys and sometimes masturbate, but sometimes I don't even get hard. I really like pictures of men and women having sex. I like lesbian pictures, but only if they're intense. As I said above, I don't want to be gay, and I even like this girl - a lot. I think about her, but I never had a fantasy about her; I don't think of her as a sex object, at least not now. I have never had a girlfriend. I think this may be a subconscious thing telling me I'm gay. Hopefully I'm just shy. I don't want to date just anyone; I've really only liked 2 or 3 girls enough to want to go out with them. I also had the idea of marrying them. Anyway, I want to know if I should follow my penis and be gay or follow my heart and have a family.
A: Why do you think the two paths have to be separate? Many men combine the two, one way or another. You're only 18 anyway, and things will certainly change as you go through life anyway. Our sexuality isn't fixed at birth. But to give you an answer for now, I would say, at 18 you would be best following whatever path will give you most pleasure, happiness and fulfillment right now!
Q: Hi, I am 18 years old and live in Australia. I think I am gay, I am almost positive I am gay. However every time I wank I regret it being over a guy, but just lately have learnt to accept it better. I do not want to be gay, and will not accept myself as gay. I am trying so much lately, such as not wanking over guys, instead trying to wank over girl porno videos. As well as staying away from phone sex (which because I refuse to meet anyone, is the only way I get off). I am still a virgin. I would never forgive myself if I slept with a guy. I know you get a lot of emails from guys saying that, however I will not accept myself. I am 18 and have very good looks, I will never sleep with a guy. I want a wife and I want a family and kids. I have told a few people on gay channels that, and they just laugh and say it is a hormonal thing or it's in my genes. Is this true? Is it impossible for me to change my sexuality, and if it's not what are some techniques I can use? I don't have any feelings for guys. I mean I wouldn't want to be with one for the rest of my life, I would rather be with a girl. And at the moment there is this girl, I love with all my heart, however I cannot get an erection thinking about girls. I would want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. As I said, I will never accept myself as a homosexual, and even more live with or even sleep with them.
A: Why are you so down on gayness? Because you think it morally wrong? The view that it is morally wrong is a cultural or religious one. You can come to a different conclusion for yourself. Because you are disgusted by it? Well, any sex between two people that is driven by lust without care for each other lacks something. This is no different for gay or straight people. If the act of anal sex is unpleasant in your view, well, then I think you are one of many people, both gay and straight, who would say that. But with care, in a loving setting, a very large number of gay and straight couples enjoy it very much. And many gay couples enjoy the sensitivity of touch and caressing or mutual masturbation without going any further. If you put into context the giving and receiving of pleasure within a worthwhile respectful relationship, then you have a model for many of the gay couples I have met.
Or do you just feel repelled by sex itself, a view heightened if both participants are men? This is not as uncommon as you may think, and it isn't always because of some trauma. Many people have to learn to like sex. Even if you are mostly gay now, your views may change as you get older. You may find that you become more attracted to women. This will be especially true if your attraction to men now is based on negative feelings towards women (e.g. you fear or hate them) - as you mature, you may find that such powerful emotions diminish, and you can get closer to women. However, if you have a strong gay orientation, you will have to deal with thoughts and desires for men - especially in your fantasy life.
I know you don't want to be gay, but let me ask you this: can you separate fantasy from reality? What you fantasize about is in your head - and it can stay there, and no-one needs to know about it. It does not have to be acted on, and it need not cause shame unless you choose to let it. I think that perhaps masturbatory fantasy serves as a useful way of discharging the sexual tension that you cannot act out in real life. In any case, I am sure that forcing yourself to masturbate over female porn is not going to have the slightest effect on changing your sexual orientation. That may well evolve to something else as time passes, but it won't change by behavioral modification. While on the subject of women, you may find that if you get emotionally close to a woman, you begin to feel sexually attracted to her - sex is sometimes based in the heart rather than the penis! But if you really are gay, what then? Well, you deny a part of your own existence by not accepting yourself. What do you mean when you say "I will not accept myself as gay"? Do you mean that you will torment yourself with guilt and shame rather than work towards a better level of self acceptance? I know this is hard for you, but I know other things too: I know that being gay does not diminish a person's worth; that a loving relationship based on emotional connection is just as possible for two men as two women or a man and a woman; and that you can love women and have children with them even if you are not sexual with them. (Why? Well, do you know how many women don't like or really want sex? No, neither do I, but I know it is a lot. But they do want to be loved and cared for - just as we all do.)
Have you considered telling your female friend that you think you are gay? She will most likely be very supportive - but be sure you trust her not to tell anyone else! Sometimes a good piece of gossip can easily spread around - and you need a friend you can trust right now, either male or female. You may even find that with increasing intimacy, you can try sleeping together. I think you are taking such a hard line, when there are so many stages between complete self-acceptance as gay and living with a woman as wife and husband. Maybe you could shift your thinking a bit, to accept the possibility that you might be gay, and if you are, well, it isn't a disaster, and that you can explore different options.
And if all the above is unhelpful, maybe you can find a support group which helps people decide if they are gay or not? But whatever you do, please be easier on yourself....being gay isn't the end of the world, a crime, a disaster, or a barrier to being happy and healthy.
Q: My penis when erect goes right against my stomach and it is uncomfortable in my underwear. What should I do?
A: The upright stiff erect penis that you describe is very normal in a teenage boy. For some reason, I get lots of emails asking me what a boy can do to make it "right": but this is how the erect penis very often is, and you can't do anything about it, no matter how uncomfortable it may be in your underwear. If you can keep it bent down, that will stop the problem of it showing in your trousers, but it's a problem faced by almost all teenage boys, and one they solve for themselves. (Boxer shorts versus briefs, tight pants versus loose pants, penis bent over, penis free to stand up - that kind of thing). As men get older, the angle of their erection decreases, and approaches the horizontal, sticking more or less straight out in front when they are standing up. You can get more information about erection angles here, on this very website.
Q: I am 18, I have an average size penis (about 6 inches). My problem is that I have never had an orgasm while I have been awake. What I mean by that is that I have had wet dreams where I actually remember cumming. I know what it feels like to have an orgasm (while I am semi-asleep) but whenever I have masturbated nothing has ever happened. I have been jacking off since I was 13 with no results. I can get an erection, I get excited, I think about sex non-stop just like any other guy. I have never actually had sex because of this. I have had oral sex but to no avail. Even that did not work for me. I don't know why. It is easy enough to get it up and even keep it up. Oral sex feels great but I never come! I have never told this to anyone since all the guys always talk about is how much they are whacking it. I just don't know why it doesn't work for me, I just keep saying to my self that it has to because of the fact I have wet dreams. Please help.
A: Well, it is unusual - but there will be a solution. We just need to help you find it. This may sound silly, but have you masturbated for long enough to bring yourself to the point of orgasm? It is necessary to masturbate hard enough and long enough to get yourself to the point where the body's reflexes take over. If you simply don't provide enough stimulation, you won't have an orgasm. So, if you are masturbating using baby oil or something similar, try without it, so that you have more friction. Try going on for longer, too. Having said that don't make your penis red raw and sore! Have you used sexy pictures to arouse yourself (pictures of men or women, according to taste)? You may be lacking the mental sexual stimulation which you need to get off. And I wonder if there is something deeper at work. Do you have any issues around sex, for example, was it taboo or hidden in your family? As a little boy did you get "hands off" (your dick, I mean) messages? If you lived in an atmosphere where sex and touching and maybe even the body was a source of guilt or shame, that could be a factor.
You may be one of a small minority of men with this issue, but you are definitely not alone. I heard from another guy who had not had an orgasm by masturbation by the time he was 19, and he decided one day that he was just "going to do it". He didn't tell me how he brought this about, but the result of his decision was that he successfully jerked off for the first time. He also tells me he has never looked back since! Could you do something similar? It sounds to me as though that process was something like taking a decision to bring his sexuality under his control.
Lastly, I hesitate to suggest this, because I know you have a lot on your plate with this problem, but some guys with similar issues have actually been trying to hide the fact that they are simply not interested in women from themselves. After they have changed their focus to men, they gradually begin the process of unfolding their sexuality. Obviously I mention this only as a remote possibility, but with the intention of assuring you that if it were the case, it would not be the end of the world. You may well know, anyway, that you are not gay, simply because your sexual thoughts and feelings do not involve men (although even straight men think about male fantasies as they masturbate from time to time).
Q: My penis bends. Please help. I looked into Peyronie's disease and I think that my symptoms are similar to the ones of that disease. However, at one of the sites, it says that the disease is usually derived from an injury during intercourse and I am a virgin. Also, my penis has always had this bend in it, for as long as I remember, so it doesn't seem to me that it occurred as a result of something. If I do have this disease, is it something that can worsen with time? While my penis is bent to the left and downwards, my "pee-hole" comes out at the tip of my head. Also, my penis (for the most part) looks like a normal penis.
A: If you have no pain (which is the classic symptom of continuing changes in the penis), I would say with almost complete certainty that you have just, for some reason, been born with a bent penis. The explanation of the bend is probably that one of the internal chambers of the penis is a slightly different size to the other, so on erection, the penis bends toward the smaller side. This, I think, is just one of those quirks of fate that you can do nothing about. In Peyronie's, one of the chambers shortens because of the formation of inflexible scar tissue after an injury. Although you haven't told me how bad the bend is, I think you may find it is less significant to any potential partner than you imagine now. Usually of course a woman is very wrapped up in the size of her breasts, labia, or whether she can satisfy a man, or whatever, not in his dick issues. Having said that, the surgery for Peyronie's might work for you - perhaps they could excise part of the tissue on one side to make the two chambers the same length. I would say that unless you have a big problem, this is not an option I would recommend (simply because the penis is so precious and valuable).
Q: Hi, I'm 21 (male) and, well, here's the problem. Okay, it all seems well and good that these tiny little white, yellow or creamy colored spots on the shaft of the penis or the coronal rim are just harmless sweat glands (they are harmless, right?). What did you call 'em, Fordyce spots, right? "They cannot be controlled, massaged, oiled, or wished away, or anything else." So what the hell am I to do if I've got these for the rest of my life? Have there been any cases where they've disappeared? Cos y'know, I'm a popular lad an' still a virgin, so it won't be good if my first sexual encounter ends with a scream of terror from my girlfriend followed by a slow embarrassing life at school, which is probably then followed by suicide... You say they are responsive to testosterone in the body...right? Well, since I'm 15 my hormones are goin' mental and I do masturbate (which I don't usually admit) regularly, as in, every day or so... (by the way, is that healthy, it can't be, can it?) Anyways, I guess you know how troubled I am about this, so PLEASE could you email me back, thank you VERY, VERY much...
A: Your email made me smile....sounds like you have a good sense of humor, which might be a good thing in the circumstances! On the subject, though, you have to learn to live with these "spots". (And yes they are harmless!) You don't want to hear this, I know, but here's how it is: all men have them, you are not alone, and I get loads of emails from men and boys with exactly your query. So yes, I do know how troubling it can be. OK, now, all these other guys have these spots (which they do, although I admit some have more than others), but it hasn't stopped them having good sexual relationships, right? And it won't stop you, either! The reason being that when the time is right for your "first time", you will find it doesn't matter at all. For one thing, remember that the skin of the labia - the lips around the vaginal opening - can develop these as well, so your girl may have exactly the same problem (caused by her estrogen level making her skin change thru puberty).
For another thing, she will probably be too concerned with the size of her breasts, or their shape, or the size of her labia, or whether she can please you - or something - that will take her mind off your penis! Everyone is so wrapped up in their own concerns, and thinks that these problems will be just as significant to their partner - but the funny thing is that this is almost never the case! Now, the easiest thing in the world is to give out good advice, but you have to go through the experience to really see how true it is. And of course, the problem is getting that experience when you are so concerned. I don't have an easy answer for you, except to reassure you that with age and experience, this will not seem like the big deal it does now. Believe me, I am not discounting your worries right now, but the fact is that you cannot do anything about these spots. Also, another thought: you do sound like a guy who can get along with people, so remember that when the right girl finds you (or vice versa) she won't want you just for your dick - she'll want to be with you for the sake of YOU. That's how women often see sex - as a part of love, rather than the other way round, for them, so to her it will be closeness, touching, kissing and loving intimacy that is most important.
By the way, are you worried about anything else?...I ask because sometimes people project their sexual worries onto things that they can see, like these little blemishes on the skin. As for the masturbation, I would say - enjoy it, it is quite normal and very healthy (as long as it doesn't become an obsession!).
Q: I really want to thank you for reading this and I really appreciate the work you do. I am 18. When I lie on my back and get an erection my penis lies against my stomach instead of standing upright. Can you please help me and tell me what to do? I am very worried.
A: For an 18 year old, it is no surprise at all to find that your erection is hard up against your stomach. It is actually how erections are in a lot of healthy young men who have more male sex hormone than at any other time of their lives. So, even if you thought you were different from everyone else, I can assure you that you are just like lots of other teenagers. An erect penis doesn't have to be sticking straight up when you are on your back. As for making love, well, this may mean there are one or two positions that you can't use, because it would be uncomfortable for you, but it isn't a major inconvenience. So - hope that answers your question.
Whether it matters to you or not will probably depend in many ways on how careful you are in picking your sexual partners, even if this means waiting a bit longer for the right moment! BTW, know this may seem even more ridiculous, but is your Dad the kind of guy you could confide your fears in? He is a man, after all, and he will know where you are coming from. (Don't worry if this idea seems to have come from another planet. I suspect most guys couldn't bring themselves to do this! However, I do think you might be surprised by the reaction if you broached the subject.....but you know best whether this is a good idea or not).
From the tone of your message I would say you are an intelligent guy, so you may now be thinking I might be right but somehow you can't apply all this information to yourself. If you are having a problem believing things will be OK for you, have a look at the small penis forums for advice and support. You can find some information about them here. Here you may find support from guys who are successfully living with what nature has given them.
Q: Hey I need to ask you a question. I am 15 and for as long as I can remember there has been something wrong with my penis. My whole penis bends to the right and I can never remember it being straight. It is like this ALL the time and is causing me great stress. No-one knows about this and I haven't told my parents or been to the doctor or anything.
A: Well, first of all, calm down. Firstly, can you talk to your dad? He is a man, after all, and will have an understanding of the problems that men face around their penises. Don't underestimate how much he might be able to help. I know it is a major leap of faith, and if you can't do it, well, that IS understandable. Maybe an older brother or uncle could help? As for the bend or leaning to the right, this is not so simple. I think in the end you may have to accept as a feature of your penis - there are so many penises that do this! I know this may not be a comfort to you, but I get many, many emails from guys saying their penis bends one way or the other, and what can they do about it? The answer is, probably nothing, that is what nature has given you. Just how much does it bend ? Is it within normal limits? This would actually be very bendy, up to about thirty degrees would not be uncommon. All penises seem to bend one way or the other.
Try and find a way of confiding in an adult male you trust, who knows you and who you can see in person (family doctor?) and can help you come to feel more comfortable with yourself. You are by no means the first man to have these issues in his life, and that includes loads of men with happy relationships. As their experience has shown, your future sexual and romantic prospects will NOT be affected by these issues. Believe me, this is a fact, even if you find it difficult to accept right now: women love men for themselves, not for their penises.
Q: I have a question, about my penis. I have a very small bump on the shaft, it almost looks like a zit or a pimple, but with no white head. It looks like a really small water blister but its not. I've had it for about a month now, and it doesn't hurt at all, and it doesn't seem to want to pop.
A: I would say that if you have had sex within the last 12 months or so you might want to go see a doctor for a quick check to make sure it isn't a sexually transmitted thing...otherwise, don't worry!
Q: Hello, I'm 18 ....I have masturbated since I was about 13 or 14 and never had sex before until like 6 months ago...even before I had sex I had these 2 dark spots on the head of my penis on the left. They have been there for about a yr and a half or so...and now I'm just gettin' concerned. I mean it can't really be a disease can it? I've only masturbated and had sex a few times. Could it be that I masturbated too much? Or what?
A: My guess is that they are freckles or moles, you know, the thing where you just naturally get a tiny patch of brownish skin? If that's what they are, don't worry, they are harmless. If they are more reddish than brownish, then I think that is quite natural as well. Red spots on the glans are very common. Basically the message is - don't worry. But obviously if they are painful OR if they start getting bigger OR if you are worried about them then have a quick word with the doctor...he can set your mind at rest completely. They certainly won't be a sexual disease, as you say in your message, that can't be the case. And they certainly won't be caused by your masturbation, because everyone does that from about 13 - 14 onwards and we know masturbation has no harmful effects of any kind (unless you do it 8 times a day, in which case your dick gets a bit sore!)
Q: I was just wondering whether weight or diet have anything to do with penis size. It seems that a lot of people say that losing weight adds quite a bit to your length. Is this true? Or is it only when people are extremely overweight and go back to "normal"? I am a bit overweight, and am just wondering if getting back in shape would help me at all with size. Also, I want to know if eating a lot of fatty foods is bad for one's penis. I've heard that by eating healthily, one can actually increase penis size. Through logic, one would say that size would go down by eating in an unhealthy manner. Also, when can you measure your penis when flaccid? Mine ranges between 2.5 and 4.5 inches. When sitting down, it's obviously shorter, but when standing it's a bit longer. Which measurement counts? I find that when I exercise my penis size goes down considerably, is this normal? Wouldn't it have to be the opposite, as penis size grows in hot temps? Is there a way to enhance penis growth while still in puberty. I am at that stage, and don't want to miss a chance. Also, when does the penis stop growing?
A: Lose weight and the pad of fat over the penis shrinks, therefore it looks bigger. It stops growing at 17. Eating fat clogs all your arteries including those of the penis, therefore later in life you can't get erections. So, exercise well, eat well, it all helps towards general fitness and penile fitness.
Q: I'm uncircumcised, 21, and when I was younger (nine years old or so) I noticed my foreskin was attached to the coronal rim. As I got older (12 - 13) it started to detach from it, and now I can pull my foreskin all the way back and expose the whole head. But now there's all these tiny, little, whitish bumps along the coronal rim? Are they a result from the foreskin detaching from the coronal rim? I started masturbating at the age of 10 I think, when the foreskin was still attached to the coronal rim, but as I got older (12 - 13) I noticed the foreskin was starting to detach from the rim. Do you think masturbation could have caused the tiny, little, whitish bumps? Due to the tugging on the attached foreskin to the coronal rim? I'm 16 now, and they're still there. Will they every go away by themselves, or does a doctor have to remove them?
A: The connection between the corona and the foreskin is sometimes slow to separate in boys, and sometimes they still stick together at puberty. There are plenty of references here, if you want to look. No, I don't think that your masturbation had anything to do with their appearance, as all men have these white spots, and they are quite normal. Unfortunately you cannot get rid of them.
Q: Hi there! The problem is with my penis. One day I was masturbating and at the end at the orgasm I pulled the skin too hard. And that skinny thing between the head and the foreskin tore, but not entirely and some blood came out! One day it opened again, and more blood came, though it soon stopped. So, my questions are: What's supposed to happen when you lose your virginity (I mean is this skin supposed to break?) Should there be any blood coming out? And, more to the point, what the hell should I do now? Is this going to ruin my first experience of sex? Do these things usually break when you lose virginity?
A: It is such a common myth, that a boy has to tear his frenulum when he has sex for the first time. But it isn't true! I really don't know where the idea comes from, unless it has something to do with the idea that men have to bleed a bit, like a woman when her hymen is torn. Anyway, it isn't true. Having said all of that, when a guy has a short frenulum, it can tear when he masturbates or has sex, and it is unfortunately often uncomfortable thereafter. The best thing to do if this has happened to you, and it doesn't heal up quickly, and stay healed, is to go and see a urologist, who may be able to do a simple surgical repair that prevents it tearing again.
Q: I am 18. I have a problem with my left testicle. About 1 month ago I was watching TV and I went to take a shower. When I took my clothes off I realized that my left testicle was twisted around. It did it again exactly 10 days after that. The first time it spontaneously turned back around in about 20 min. The second time it was more like 35 min. Before the second time I could ejaculate multiple times. Now only one big ball of semen comes out. I think I am ruined for life. Do you think that it was damaged? I think I am only going to have one that works now. Please answer back....I am nervous.
A: OK, well if you have had no pain or swelling, or discomfort, you will not have had any damage, so don't worry about that. I think you would be wise to see a doctor, just to get his advice. Not that I believe there is anything wrong, because testicles do turn around like this in the scrotum. As long as they go back, there is no problem. But there is a medical emergency when a testicle spins around and refuses to go back - this needs urgent medical attention at the ER. The pain and swelling would leave you in no doubt if this had happened to you. Read about testicles and torsion here.
Q: Hello. I've read your articles and I think that they are great and good advice too. I looked at your article on testicles size and it only helped me a bit. I'm 18 years old (19 in a few days) and one of my testicles is really big and the other is really small. Sometimes it shows through my trousers, it's so damn big! This has been bugging me for a number of years now, but I'm too scared to go to the doctor. I read somewhere that if you had a testicle this size it can lead to cancer - is this true?
A: No.
Q: When I get an erection, my penis is vertically straight up and not outward at all. How do I fix this problem so it at least points outward more?
A: I guess you are young...this isn't a problem, it's a feature of youthful vigor! By the time guys are in their thirties their erections have begun to decline a bit. But at your age, this is often exactly how an erection is! It signals your body is full of testosterone. OK, so is it a problem? No, not really. It doesn't make sex in the missionary position any harder. It might be a bit more difficult in certain positions to enter a partner, but really, you can't change it, so just enjoy the signs of your sexuality. Read about erection angles on this website.