Penis Size Information

The number one concern of many men is whether their penis matches up to the average size and shape of the adult penis.

Why? Well, it's a fact that men can agonize and worry about penis size -- of course, meaning that they think their penis is too small. The truth is that what you have is nearly always good enough, and it's what you do with it that makes it a tool for giving great pleasure to both you and your sexual partners.

And if you don't have a sexual partner, you may find this advice useful: how to get a relationship! This is an excellent if you spend all your time on the internet and none with real women!

However, the anxiety you feel around penis size may lead you to perform poorly in bed, perhaps with sexual dysfunctions such as the ever present curse of premature ejaculation and the less well known but almost as common sexual dysfunction known as delayed ejaculation.

Porn is criticized for many reasons, but one of them is particularly relevant to this discussion of penis size perceptions: so-called actors in so-called adult movies are in fact usually hugely endowed with an abnormal sexual capacity.

What you see on the screen is not like real life, and it's not necessary for you to try and live up to those images. Indeed, the only thing that matters about penis size is whether your size satisfies you and your partner.

Penis Size

The truth is sexual enjoyment and sexual pleasure matter more than penis size . And indeed, worries about penis size may cause men to actually develop premature ejaculation.

Now cause I know these are easy things to say, because men are very competitive around penis size, and it does indeed occupy a great deal of our time and energy. So to try and introduce a little bit more objectivity into this debate, here are some simple facts that you may not know.

If all that matters is the size of the sexual organ that's you present to a sexual partner, then logically, penis size in the locker room is a matter of complete irrelevance. And yet of course, we know it's not: which does imply that a massive amount of the debate around penis size, not to mention the feelings of inferiority that can be engendered in a man who feels his penis is less than average size, is about some kind of competitive force between men.

It is an extraordinary fact that in our "civilized" society, penis size should be a factor of such major importance. It's also ironic that not only is flaccid penis size unrelated to erection size, it's actually affected by the temperature of the air or water, the degree of sexual stimulation you're feeling, and how much fat a man has on his body just above his penis.

Penis size

But despite this, we know that men are absorbed in the question of penis size, and so it is interesting to discover what the average size of the adult male penis actually is.

The trouble is that when you do a survey in which men are asked to measure their own penises, they tend to respond with data which shows the average size as being an inch greater than is actually the case!

To get a reliable estimation of penis size you have to turn to surveys that have been done by medical professionals, and perhaps unsurprisingly, there are not many of those around.

The most reliable of them indicate that the average length of the erect penis along the upper surface is 5.9 inches, with a girth or circumference of 4.9 inches.

Since this is an average size it will occur to you that roughly half of the male members of the the human race are above this and roughly half are below it. Therefore if you see yourself as being below average size, you're definitely not alone!

Unfortunately you may wish for a bigger penis, and spend emotional energy agonizing over your perceived size or trying to find some way of making your cock bigger, rather than directing your energy and time to accepting yourself as you are. But, success in intercourse, or indeed in any sexual interaction with another person, is not about size of your penis: it's actually about matters such as mutual understanding, intimacy, respect, love and communication.

Penis size - so why does it matter so much to men?

Working on the hypothesis that women want sex with a man they love, like and respect rather than a man with a big penis, but in the absence of all the emotional stuff, they'll take the sensation and erotic excitement provided by a big penis, the question remains why penis size is so important to men.

Maybe the answer is simple: that men are very competitive and that penis size is just another way in which we compare themselves to each other and form ourselves into a hierarchy of dominance?

That seems credible, since men are indeed both competitive and hierarchically orientated. What is this male obsession with penis size all about?

Think for a moment of making love. If you've ever resisted the urge to thrust and lain still with your partner, you've probably experienced a tremendous build-up of sexual energy, most of which expresses itself in an incredibly strong urge to thrust hard, to penetrate her to the depths of her being, to get as deeply inside her as you can. Is that Nature telling us to pump our semen at the level of her cervix, so that the chance of impregnating her is as high as possible? If so, the instinctual desire for a bigger penis would be quite natural and understandable - it's a symbol of reproductive success.

Now, take this a step further. If the fundamental purpose of all if us is to reproduce (a biological certainty), and that happens as male and female energy come together, then the big penis represents not only reproductive success but the ability to take a woman, to fill her with male energy, to dominate her completely. And therefore a man's desire for a large penis may stem from a desire to express male power in the most fundamental way - when taking a woman sexually.

In that place of sexual expression, stripped bare of civilized niceties, where the profound masculine meets the profound feminine, penis size becomes the ultimate expression of masculinity and male power.

Now let’s talk about something a little uncomfortable - but also super common -  men's insecurities around penis size. For a lot of men, worries about the size of their genitals can really affect confidence and even the way they see themselves. It’s not a topic that usually comes up in casual conversation, which just makes it harder for guys who feel like they're stuck with this weight on their shoulders. But here’s where shadow work can really help.

What’s Shadow Work? And Why Does It Matter for This?

Shadow work is about exploring the “shadow” parts of ourselves - the insecurities, hidden fears, or beliefs we might keep buried because they’re uncomfortable. The idea is to face these parts of ourselves so they don’t control us or eat away at our self-esteem in sneaky ways. When it comes to size insecurity, shadow work can help by getting to the root of why it matters so much, breaking down those beliefs, and building up a stronger sense of self-worth that has nothing to do with size.

Step 1: Look at Where Those Insecurities Come From

First up, shadow work invites you to get curious about why you feel this way. Why does size even matter? Most of us get these ideas from media, movies, jokes, or even random comments people make. Guys (and women) are bombarded with the message that “bigger is better,” and it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short (pun not intended!) if you don’t measure up to that ideal. Shadow work helps you take a step back and really examine these beliefs. Do they make sense? Are they helpful? And whose standards are you trying to meet here? A lot of times, just acknowledging that these feelings are fueled by outside expectations—not some universal truth—can take some of the power away from the insecurity.

Step 2: Make Friends with the Insecurity

One of the best things about shadow work is that it’s not about getting rid of insecurities or pretending they’re not there. Instead, it’s about owning them. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable! Alright, let’s dig into something that doesn’t often get talked about openly: insecurities men have around sexuality, and specifically, concerns about size. This is one of those topics that’s so common, yet almost no one wants to bring it up. But the truth is, worries about size can really mess with confidence and self-image. This is where shadow work can come in handy—because shadow work isn’t about “fixing” anything on the outside, it’s about reworking our relationship with those deep-rooted insecurities.

What is Shadow Work, and Why Does it Matter Here?

Shadow work is essentially about exploring the parts of ourselves that we usually keep hidden—the fears, insecurities, and beliefs we might not want to admit we have. In this case, if someone feels insecure about their size, shadow work can help them unpack why they feel that way, where those beliefs come from, and how to build a stronger sense of self that doesn’t hinge on physical measurements.

Step 1: Get Curious About Why Size Feels So Important

The first thing shadow work encourages is to get curious about the root of this insecurity. Why does size feel like it defines sexuality or masculinity? Usually, these feelings don’t just pop up on their own. They’re fueled by all the messages we’ve picked up over the years from movies, jokes, locker-room talk, and society’s general obsession with the idea that “bigger is better.” Shadow work helps guys recognize that this pressure is usually based on external expectations, not necessarily personal values or reality.

When you start to dig into this, you may realize that a lot of these beliefs about size are just stories society has handed out, and not necessarily the truth. Questioning these beliefs can take away some of their power and help you realize that your self-worth isn’t tied up in one specific part of your body.

Step 2: Face the Insecurity, Don’t Fight It

One of the key parts of shadow work is to actually face that insecurity without judging it. Instead of feeling like you have to “fix” your feelings about size or somehow ignore them, shadow work encourages you to acknowledge and accept them.

In other words, if you feel insecure, it’s okay to feel that way. Recognize that those feelings are just a part of you, not the whole story. This approach—accepting without judgment—actually helps take the sting out of the insecurity. When you’re not actively trying to push these thoughts away, they lose a lot of their power over you.

Step 3: Shift the Focus to Self-Worth Beyond Size

Once you’ve spent some time acknowledging and understanding these feelings, shadow work helps you start to build a sense of self-worth that’s rooted in who you are as a person, not in your physical measurements. What qualities do you bring to the table? Your humor, intelligence, empathy, or strength—these things have way more staying power than physical attributes alone.

This step is about reframing your sense of self to go beyond size and see yourself as a whole person. When you start to see your own value in a broader way, it can boost your confidence, not just in yourself but in your relationships, too.

How to Start Doing Shadow Work On This Issue

If you’re thinking about exploring this idea, here are a few ways to get started:

Journaling: Write down how you feel about size and any beliefs you have around it. Then, dig deeper—where do these beliefs come from? Did you ever experience a specific moment or hear something that made you feel self-conscious? Getting these thoughts on paper helps you see them more clearly and understand that they don’t have to define you.

Mindfulness and Reflection: Take a few minutes each day to check in with yourself. If feelings of insecurity come up, try to sit with them without judgment. Just notice the thoughts and let them pass. This practice of self-compassion is at the heart of shadow work.

Talking It Out: Sometimes, these feelings are easier to explore with the help of a therapist or counselor. They can guide you through shadow work and help you get to the root of these beliefs, offering tools to shift them.

Body Appreciation Exercises: Start noticing what you do like about your body and what it can do for you. Practicing gratitude for your body can help shift focus away from insecurities and toward the things you’re proud of and appreciative for.

The Big Picture: Embracing Yourself, Shadows and All

The best thing about shadow work is that it’s not about “fixing” or changing who you are. It’s about understanding and accepting every part of yourself - even the uncomfortable bits! When guys dig into the beliefs they hold about penis size and see where they come from, it can be incredibly freeing. It gives them the confidence to define masculinity and self-worth on their own terms, not based on what society says.

In the end, shadow work is a way to say, “Yeah, I’ve got insecurities, but they don’t define me.” And the sense of self-acceptance which comes from doing shadow work? That’s real confidence, the kind that makes a way bigger impact than any physical trait ever could.

Relationships and Sex

While there are many aspect to a relationship, one of the most important is sex. Men and women can find sex rewarding, troublesome, satisfying, exciting, disappointing, and indeed anything in between.

But to keep a sexual relationship alive and working well, what is definitely needed is mutual understanding, support, and above all, love. Well - love. A problem for so many men, yet so vital to the human condition. And the state most women would naturally like to be in, if only men would let them.... how can we ever resolve the differences between men and women on so many fronts? We could find out how to love better, how to get over the emotional baggage of the past, and how to become more at ease with members of the opposite sex. See www.youreallywanthim.com which can tell you so much more about love, and how to make a man fall in love with a woman. And this, if you are interested, tells you all about the nature of love.

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